I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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