She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
