We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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