nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
