Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You dont lie about slip and slides
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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