**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't make out with my wife yet
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
