i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
