dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
