I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We are all done wearing pants today
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