Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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