My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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