uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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