my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
