ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
