I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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