He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
