lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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