But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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