I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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