i don't like sucking hair
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She needs sedatives and a leash
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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