You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
