i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
