i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
