So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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