I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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