You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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