My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
