just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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