Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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