the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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