and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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