i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
