my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
