Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
