24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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