Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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