I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
God, I missed his penis.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
