I wannas sexs uuuuu
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
