should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
