He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
