No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
