Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
