Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
