It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
