If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
