people are starting to question the shark bite story
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
