I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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