Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
