Dual....:-)
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
