We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
