i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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