All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
