I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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