My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
