Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
