Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
