I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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