Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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