Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
