Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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