dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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