just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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